Damn. Just, damn.

So remember a while back (you probably don’t) when I said I was going to avoid talking about politics on my blog? Well it’s a rule I keep breaking and I’m going to do it again.

I like Joe Biden. Sometimes he doesn’t know when to shut up, but for the most part he’s an asshole and hey, I respect a guy who don’t pussyfoot around what he’s trying to say. Besides, any politician who says “bullshit” and “malarkey” in neighboring sentences is alright by me. I was personally rooting for Kathleen Sebelius to get the VP spot, but I think Biden was the more logical choice so I wasn’t really surprised when he got tapped. Maybe it was just me, but he did seem a bit quiet for a little while there, but I’m happy to see he’s back to his jerk self.

Also, check out this disturbing interview with McCain about his VP pick.

Claiming that Palin has foreign policy experience because “she understands that Alaska is next to Russia?” Well I live pretty close to Mexico, McCain, maybe I should have been your VP?

I can’t wait for the debates.

I’m not sure who Todd Diamond is, but I’m glad Warren Ellis does.

On a more serious note, Sam Harris, the author of Letter to a Christian Nation, recently wrote an opninion piece on McCains VP choice for the LA Times.

So let us ask the question that should be on the mind of every thinking person in the world at this moment: If John McCain becomes the 44th president of the United States, what are the odds that a blood clot or falling object will make Sarah Palin the 45th?

The actuarial tables on the Social Security Administration website suggest that there is a better than 10% chance that McCain will die during his first term in office. Needless to say, the Reaper’s scything only grows more insistent thereafter. Should President McCain survive his first term and get elected to a second, there is a 27% chance that Palin will become the first female U.S. president by 2015. If we take into account McCain’s medical history and the pressures of the presidency, the odds probably increase considerably that this bright-eyed Alaskan will become the most powerful woman in history.

As many people have noted, placing Palin on the ticket has made these final months of the already overlong 2008 campaign much more interesting. Is Palin remotely qualified to be president of the United States? No. But that’s precisely what is so interesting. McCain not only has thrown all sensible concerns about good governance aside merely to pander to a sliver of female and masses of conservative Christian voters, he has turned this period of American history into an episode of high-stakes reality television: Don’t look now, but our cousin Sarah just became leader of the free world! Tune in next week and watch her get sassy with Pakistan!Americans have an unhealthy desire to see average people promoted to positions of great authority. No one wants an average neurosurgeon or even an average carpenter, but when it comes time to vest a man or woman with more power and responsibility than any person has held in human history, Americans say they want a regular guy, someone just like themselves. President Bush kept his edge on the “Who would you like to have a beer with?” poll question in 2004, and won reelection.

This is one of the many points at which narcissism becomes indistinguishable from masochism. Let me put it plainly: If you want someone just like you to be president of the United States, or even vice president, you deserve whatever dysfunctional society you get. You deserve to be poor, to see the environment despoiled, to watch your children receive a fourth-rate education and to suffer as this country wages — and loses — both necessary and unnecessary wars.

McCain has so little respect for the presidency of the United States that he is willing to put the girl next door (soon, too, to be a grandma) into office beside him. He has so little respect for the average American voter that he thinks this reckless and cynical ploy will work.And it might. Palin’s nomination has clearly excited Christian conservatives, and it may entice a few million gender-obsessed fans of Hillary Clinton to vote entirely on the basis of chromosomes. Throw in a few million more average Americans who will just love how the nice lady smiles, and 2009 could be a very interesting year.

Tune in next week and watch cousin Sarah fuss with our nuclear arsenal …

I’ve received more than the usual amount of criticism for my recent opinion piece on Sarah Palin, most of it alleging sexism and/or an unseemly infatuation with Barack Obama.  For those who care, I’d like to briefly respond:

My alleged sexism: It is true that I used some hackneyed, gender-slanted language in the piece (“get sassy,” “girl-next-door,” etc.). This was deliberate. Clearly, I played this game at my peril. I can say that if Sarah Palin were a man of similar qualifications, I would have used equally slanted language to describe him. I might have called Mr. Palin a “frat-boy” or a “lumberjack.” I would have invoked some silly macho phrasing like,“Watch Cousin Jim flip Putin the bird.” My concern is not that Mrs. Palin is a woman. My concern is that she is a totally unqualified and poorly educated woman who was added to the Republican ticket as a token woman (and Creationist wacko). For what it’s worth, the article was vetted by the two women closest to me (wife and mother) and by two female editors at the LA Times. If anything, the editing at the Times made the piece even more “sexist.”

My alleged Obamamania: Many McCain supporters have written to say that (1) Obama is also unqualified (or even less qualified than Palin) and (2) I have shown myself to be a hypocrite by not objecting to Obama’s religiosity. Briefly: My criticism of Palin should not be construed as uncritical acceptance of Obama. Needless to say, I find Obama’s religious pandering repulsive. The suspicion that he is pandering, out of obvious necessity, and not quite as religious as he makes out, is somewhat comforting, however. But even if Obama were precisely as religious as he appears, he is not a Creationist, Rapture-Ready blockhead. Palin, by all appearances, seems to be one. This is a difference worth noting. Whatever you may think of his politics, Obama is very intelligent and reasonably well educated. Palin thinks the universe is 6000 years old. Unfortunately, I wrote my article before some of the most disturbing signs of her religious extremism came to my attention.

So, let me simply declare that I would be overjoyed to have a qualified woman in the White House. I would, likewise, be overjoyed to have a qualified African American in the White House. In fact, I would be overjoyed to have a qualified WASP man in the White House. I will be guardedly optimistic to have a very smart (and somewhat qualified) Barack Obama in the White House. And I would be frankly terrified to have a religious bumpkin like Sarah Palin in the White House. I think you should share this last conviction. Hence my latest opinion piece.

Overall some really good points raised. What is Americas obsession with voting for knowingly unqualified people to important jobs, anyway? Even on the Democratic ticket Obama was one of the least qualified hopefuls, and in spite of that, he won candidacy. Or perhaps due to that?

In writing this blog I’ve made a lot of suggestions of things to read, watch and sometimes listen to. I’ve said things were good, great, and sometimes even fantastic. I’ve told you I thought some things were worth your time, or that you might enjoy them if you have a passing second. I’m about to make a little more than just a suggestion.

Some of you may remember back in 2000 John McCain was making a run at the White House. David Foster Wallace, one of my favorite writers (and certainly the one I envy the most for the pure amount of skill he has oozing out of every orifice of his person), was commissioned by Rolling Stone to write a piece on the man during the primary campaigning. Wallace turned in a massive document (massive, at least, in comparison to most magazine articles) which was butchered down and a small piece published in said magazine. Later on the full essay was released in Consider the Lobster going by the name Up, Simba. Now a few of you diligent readers may remember me mentioning way back how much I enjoyed the abridged audiobook version of Lobster, although that version did not contain Up, Simba.

Anyway, this essay is beyond good and should be read by anyone with even a passive interest in American politics, and especially by anyone without even a passive interest in American politics. Not only is it bruisingly clever and funny (like everything Wallace writes), and not only does it give you a great behind-the-scenes look at the way a campaign is run, it also paints a brilliant picture of the pitfalls of American politics and the current generation in general. The essay doesn’t have any answers, but it asks some fascinating questions.

In a whirlwind of marketing sleaziness the essay has been republished in its own volume called McCain’s Promise, an obvious ploy to profit from the current election. I don’t understand why you would buy that, though, when Consider the Lobster is like a dollar more and has oodles of great, additional, content. There is money to be made off the ignorant, I ’spose.

I’m not suggesting you read this essay. I’m not saying you might like it or that if you get the chance you should check it out. It’s more than an urge, even. I’m practically demanding that you read this essay. If you know me personally I’ll let you borrow the book. If I don’t know you or live near you, quit being a cheap bastard and buy a used copy of Consider the Lobster for a measly five bucks already.

Afterthought: In case you’re worried about the essay being too pro or too anti McCain, don’t. It’s written neutrally. Some of it seems pro, some of it seems anti, but it’s all honest. And like I said, it’s about a lot more than McCain.

Most of the things Robert Greenwald (Outfoxed, Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Price) does are pretty poorly presented, but I thought this was quite a clever little campaign.

After playing around on the site for a while I’ve come to the conclusion that spending three trillion dollars is pretty ridiculously hard to do.

I finished up reading Cormac McCarthy’s The Road recently, which ended up being very good. If everything he writes is as good as this and No Country For Old Men, he may just find himself on my list of favorite writers – a list of which I’m sure he has been eyeing for some time now.

I also started reading a few other books, one being Terry Pratchett’s The Color of Magic, which is the first of the Discworld series. I’m not all that far into it, but so far it’s a pretty great read if you’re into that kind of sci-fi fantasy type stuff. Pratchett’s wit is one most writers would kill to have, I think. The last book I’ve been eyeing through as of late is Jean-Paul Sartre’s Essays in Existentialism. Existentialism is a fascinating philosophy to me, and Sartre really hits the nail on the head with what it’s all about. Some existentialists get pretty out there and silly, but Sartre is always right where it should be. If it’s a subject that interests you, I might suggest looking to his writings first.

Oh and in paroozing the interwebs I came across an article Warren Ellis linked to and found it rather amusing. I wont even tell you what it’s all about so you can go and see the headline in big font for yourself.

More of a reason than his war heavy foreign policy, his support for No Child Left Behind, his proposed corporate tax cuts, or his support of NAFTA in its current form. Consider yourself warned of the horrific events that unfold in this video.

So this week is spring break for me, which means that I will inevitably waste my extra days off without realizing that they had even come and gone. Then I’ll be back in school next Monday and will have done none of the homework I’d promised myself I’d do over the break. Frankly, I’m already off to a great start!

I’ve been wasting some time lately reading about the Large Hadron Collider being built in Switzerland that’s supposed to be turned on in May. I know people probably always have an inflated idea of the importance of the time in which they live, but man. What a time to be alive. I wont pretend to understand everything going on with the thing, but from what I gather experiments carried out with the particle accelerator may close big gaps in our understanding of physics, like how some types of particles acquire mass. Even more interesting is the (very small) possibility that it may end up producing Strangelets and Micro Black Holes, in which case no one is really sure what would happen. Will the earth be devoured by Micro Black Holes of our own creation in May? Probably not, but it’s hard to deny that the possibility is engrossing. Am I in favor of turning on a machine that could possibly induce such an outcome? Hell yes I am! We’ve all got to go sometime, and I can’t think of a more epic way to die than via a man made black hole. Well, maybe if cloned dinosaurs were somehow also involved.

Now usually I avoid political discussion on my blog, mainly because it ages so quickly and political commentary is no doubt not what readers of this page are really looking for. But regardless, I felt compelled to write on this subject.

First off I shoud say that I like Nader. A lot. He’s a great American and has done more for consumers (read: citizens) than any elected official I can think of in recent history. Thanks to him we have proper nutritional labels on our food, seat belts and airbags in our cars, and a population that has started to care about our environment. Even Obama called him “heroic.” I also dismiss the idea that he cost Al Gore Florida in his run against Bush back in 2000. The facts of the matter are that 1) Every single third party candidate had enough votes to fill the gap between Gore and Bush 2) According to exit polls most people that voted for Nader in Florida wouldn’t have voted otherwise and 3) Voters vote (or at least should) based on who they think would do the best things for the country. If the Democrats couldn’t convince the public that they were the best ones for the job, that’s their fault for not running on the right platform.

Additionally in 2004 Nader even gave John Kerry advice as how Kerry could have beaten Bush, as he should have, easily. Kerry ignored the advice to take stronger stands on issues that would have separated himself more from Bush and instead played nice. Bush put Kerry on the defensive, and Kerry never recovered. He spent his entire run defending his past instead of talking about issues, and Bush coasted into a win.

That being said, I wish Nader wouldn’t run this year. His last campaigns have clearly shown that our two party system is broken and disgusting. If you’re not tied to one of those parties, you will be forcibly kept out of debates, ignored by the media unless they’re scorning or demonizing you, and you will be slandared. American “democracy” is, in its current state, a joke. That point has been made, and is there for anyone for anyone who cares enough to see. Why try and make the point again? It’s a losing battle, and there are far to many other, better ways for him to be spending his time.

Writing books, touring his lectures, and once again becoming the figurehead for consumer advocacy would do better for the American people than wasting time running a campaign that simply can not be won because of our current electoral system. He’s smart, connected, aware, and undeniaby determined. Put it to good use, Nader. Don’t keep wasting precious time playing in broken game.

Even with all that talk, if come November the ballot reads Clinton vs. McCain, Nader will get a vote from me.

By ROBERT BURNS – 1 hour ago

WASHINGTON (AP) – A missile launched from a Navy ship struck a dying U.S. spy satellite passing 130 miles over the Pacific on Wednesday, the Pentagon said. It was not clear whether the operation succeeded in its main goal of destroying a tank aboard the satellite that carried a toxic fuel that U.S. officials said could pose a hazard to humans if it landed in a populated area.

(plenty more at source)

RAHHH AMERICA POWER