Pretty much ever since my house burned down I’ve been staying with Justin and John (a few friends of mine), all for the unspoken cost of me occasionally cooking when I have the chance. They’ve been incredibly wonderful and have never made me feel like I was in the way, even during moments when I probably was. I owe them a lot, hopefully someday I’ll find a way to pay them back. (Sexual favors??)

But man, they need some new kitchenware. Today I tried making eggs over easy with this.

This is, no joke, the best tool for the job in this house. Needless to say it was a complete disaster and I ended up having unintentional scrambled eggs instead.

My job for the day, I’ve decided, is to go to the store and buy a new spatuala for the house. A small step toward bringing my good friends out of their current neanderthal state of living.

(To be fair they’re not neanderthals, they just don’t seem to ever cook anything that needs a non retarded spatula.)