It seems like there are things in some games that are there just to piss me off and make me want to stop playing them. Things that should be easy, but are not. I’m not talking about a boss that’s so hard to fight it isn’t fair, or a level that seems nearly impossible due to an overwhelming amount of enemies. I’m not talking about games that require you to have lighting quick reflexes. I’m talking about some stupid stuff here.

Take for example, Harvest Moon – the farming simulator for my favorite game system of all time; the Super Nintendo. I like Harvest Moon. It’s a chilled out game where you harvest some crops, raise some cows, and marry a bitch of your choice. But right now it’s pissing me off.

Now I haven’t played the SNES version of Harvest Moon in ages, and I will admit that I’ve spent much more time with the GameCube version of the game than any other one in the series. So when the SNES game launched on the Virtual Console for the Wii this week, I was intrigued. It’s a game I like and a version that I haven’t played as much as I have the others, so even though it’s older I figured it would still feel somewhat fresh to me. Sounded like a nice pleasant waste of eight dollars if I ever heard one.

At the very beginning of the game this little jerk shows you around. One of the first things he does is take you to the town that neighbors your farm so you can meet the townsfolk. You know, figure out where shops are, get to know who’s who in town, figure out which chick seems the most bonesawable to you, that kind of thing. No problem. I wander around the place for a while talking to the people that look important. I visit all the shops. I read all the notes in the shop that give you farming tips. After a little while I’m ready to get back to my farm and get things started. I go and talk to the little jerk, who is blocking the way back to my farm. “I suggest you listen to the villagers a little more,” he says. Alright. Sounds like this is one of those games where I have to talk to everyone before I can get started, ala Animal Crossing. Actually, this is probably where Animal Crossing stole the idea from. Annoying, but doable. I start at the top left hand corner of the town and systematically go from house to house talking to everyone along the way. I miss no one. Finally, I set off back to the little jerk blocking the way to my farm.

“I suggest you listen to the villagers a little more.” What. The. Hell.

I go through the town again, rummaging through everyone’s personal things, reading everyone’s diary, everything. I talk to everyone for at least the third time. They all say the same tripe they said the first time. I approach the jerk. Let’s try this again.

“I suggest you listen to the villagers a little more.”

Now I’m just pissed. My TV is still on and that little jerk continues to taunt me. “I suggest you listen to all the villagers a little more.” His taunt will forever echo in my nightmares.

I hate him.

I’m sure I’ve just missed someone or something somewhere. Something stupid, no doubt. I almost don’t want to figure out what I missed, because when I do I’ll probably just be even more perturbed at the fact that I had missed whatever it was so many times over, even though whatever it was it has been right in front of my face the entire time. This type of thing, overlooking something stupid but retardedly vital, is something that happens to me more than it should in games.

Oh, look at the time. I’m almost late to my appointment of drowning myself in the bathroom sink.